


The Case of the Closeted CrissColfer Shipper

by anothersillyromantic



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M, RPF, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-26 00:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/959474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anothersillyromantic/pseuds/anothersillyromantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A heart-felt admition of a loving shipper. And feels.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Case of the Closeted CrissColfer Shipper

**Author's Note:**

> Do not take this seriously. Also, if you choose to read, finish before you come at me with a brick.

The Case of the Closeted CrissColfer Shipper

It's not like it was intentional. He was clearly, obviously and lovingly getting into the fandom just and simply because Kurt and Blaine were adorable together – and the fact that those teen girls on the internet knew how to work him up with their surprisingly arousing porn (if slightly too clean – really, shit comes out of there, people) - well. That was just a bonus. It wasn't his fault that he was in an involuntary, exclusive relationship with his right hand and that fiction was the only erotica that works for him. (frankly, porn was a joke these days. It's not like he required for the bottom to stay hard throughout the whole thing, or even come without a touch – but he really didn't need to look like he was in that much pain, did he?)

Shipping CrissColfer was an accident. He didn't mean to click that first masterpost – his hand had slipped. And they looked at each other like that? Who were they kidding? Just get them a room. And let him watch. Possibly join. But mostly watch.

How method can an actor get, you know? And the way they talked about each other in those blessed days before they stopped, before they decided to hide his favorite horse away. Colfer couldn't have possibly hung the moon with all the crazy career shit he got up, he wouldn't have time for that, and Criss' eyes can't be that fun to gaze into. And blush around. And generally look as in love as they make them.

Okay. So he knew he was fixating – fuck you right back, judgey. Life is hard. People are homophobic, jobs hard to come by, sex even worse. Internet is easy fun, and it like – teaches him things. Makes him smarter, more educated and well-rounded observer of the universe. Plus, orgasms are fun, and it's not like it's about the really real people! He's all about the personas, he swears. Just another form of criticism. And orgasms. But any good criticism should go hand in hand with descriptive rimming, everyone knows that. 

Never say never, right? If you asked him, someone should knee Criss in the balls for that one. Like, what kind of straighty straight actor says that about marrying his adorable, male, penis-owning, hips moving (damn, the hips) coworker? It´s like: „Here's all the hope you've ever hoped for now excuse me, I'm gonna go home and eat some pussy.“

Fuck. Darren. Criss. 

(No, really, Colfer. You should.)

*

The uglies come out soon after. Trolling, hate, slurs and all the things wrapped in a package of honest to god love, the kind that shouldn't be judged, but gets confused with toxic crap that swims unfortunately visible, floating on the surface, over-shadowing the fun. 

And then it gets more messed up. 

Job, love, all the things that keep him busy – but he still makes time to visit his favorite blogs, learn and speculate – because it doesn't matter that what he knows, speculating is fun. He doesn't tell anyone, of course. That would be weird.

Some of the ”Colfer's new-dude” loving makes him happy, some freaks him out, some makes him throw serious side-eye.  
(Where did you get his name that fast? Fuck.)  
Relationships are places three miles above all other things in the fandom. He should know that. It doesn't matter that one of the people involved is openly against this notion, made a freaking movie and involved it as one of the major themes. People do that. He should deal.

The lack of undershirts, for instance. 

Like, what kind of a person actually awards the credit to the boyfriend? Here's Colfer, a brave young hottie who finally thought to purchase a mirror and therefore found out he should be getting progressively more and more naked in public places, and people assume that it's not all thanks to his brilliant self. Fuck that noise. 

But that's not the worst. Not by far.

It's everything else. How fiction stopped being about fiction, as if the lack of possibility made love for something stop being important.

So people left – jumped, stopped and drowned. Didn't make lovely art that was mostly about loving two people who happened to look smoking together. 

And now, his favorite writer vowed to stop producing due to those few idiots who didn't know that there was a funner way to wank. And Will Sherrod was simply not okay with that. 

Something had to be fixed. And he has some asses to kick into posting a lap-sitting picture together. So they won't leave their houses for a while after. 

Totally worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> I really, really don´t know the first thing about Sherrod. I saw a couple of pictures on Tumblr. That´s it. So, chances are, this is out of character as fuck.


End file.
